When my younger daughter was in grade four, a little girl in her class, who sometimes called for her on the way to school, died violently.
On Saturday, my daughter went to her birthday party and had a wonderful time.
The following week, the father took the mother and his daughter for a late evening drive. It was their last drive. He intentionally drove up an exit ramp of a multilane Toronto highway, the wrong way and steered the car under an oncoming transport truck.
All were killed instantly.
The father had previous mental health issues.
The next day the school informed the parents of the children, in Desiree's class of the tragedy. Of course the members of the community already knew the horrid news.
My daughter's first reaction was surprising. "Why didn't her daddy let her have ice in her pop ?" Apparently, he was concerned about ice and teeth. "Why was he worried about her teeth if he was going to do that ?"
When the children arrived at school, they were met by their teacher and a team of grief counsellors. For several days the children drew pictures, went for walks in the park, listened to stories and expressed their ideas and emotions in small groups. Too be frank, it was just too much.
These were not the normal school days the children wanted.
About day four, my sunny dispositioned little girl, came home for lunch, furious. That morning the class had been read Desiree's personal classroom journal. The children had been assured, when they started these journals, they were for their eyes only. "What colour is maroon anyway?" That was her favourite colour. My daughter was offended, as only a young child can be righteously offended. The privacy of her friend was being invaded.
"Why can't they just leave Desiree alone to be dead?"
A death of a child who was tragically killed will always remain a part of the children's childhood memories. She was a sweet little girl.
The class went on to plan a little ceremony and plant a lilac tree in Desiree's memory. That was as it should be.
My daughter knew instinctively as a child, there was a time to let Desiree rest in peace.
My wish for the twenty children in Connecticut, who were brutally slaughtered in their classroom, and their friends and family, is that they will soon be given a chance to be at peace. They have no need for more flowers, balloons and stuffed animals.
I'll plant a tree, but the more fitting tribute will be when the laws of their country are changed to make future massacres of this kind, less possible.
Rest in peace.
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